Saturday, February 6, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Parcheesi Night
The girls and I are trying to find better ways to entertain ourselves when we get together (instead of eating and drinking!). We've been playing Parcheesi! Miss Kitty found the game somewhere. It's a fun game, I wish I understood the strategy better! Oh well, we are playing for fun, after all. Tonight the Parcheesi will be played here! Healthy snacks have been prepped and the "drink" station is ready. Plenty of straws and ice!
I am trying really hard to stop the voice in my head from having such negative things to say. The bff sent me the prayer of St. Francis of Asissi. I've been saying it each morning as I start my day. I think it sets a wonderful tone for the day. It seems to keep me focused on the things that I can control and the things I can't. Why is that always so hard? Let go, I say it over and over to myself. Making a change is really difficult. I had no idea that I have been the way I am because it's simply too hard to chage.
The bff and I are still walking every day. This morning there was some frozen precipitation falling, I thought she would send me an e-mail suggesting that we take a day off, by noon the sun was shining. We're meant to be walking. I look forward to the stroll each day.
My "son-in-law" returned on Wednesday. It's hard to be in the room and not feel the tremendous sadness and loss that a person feels at the loss of their mother. I can barely look at him. I didn't know his mother well, but the times I met her I thought she was a pretty neat person and it was very obvious that she loves her children. For him, the only parent he ever had and some of the time the only friend he had. He came home early, he just didn't want to be away from his "family" any longer. I can tell that this has changed him.
New person at work this week. I like her, but I like everybody! I hope it works out!
I am trying really hard to stop the voice in my head from having such negative things to say. The bff sent me the prayer of St. Francis of Asissi. I've been saying it each morning as I start my day. I think it sets a wonderful tone for the day. It seems to keep me focused on the things that I can control and the things I can't. Why is that always so hard? Let go, I say it over and over to myself. Making a change is really difficult. I had no idea that I have been the way I am because it's simply too hard to chage.
The bff and I are still walking every day. This morning there was some frozen precipitation falling, I thought she would send me an e-mail suggesting that we take a day off, by noon the sun was shining. We're meant to be walking. I look forward to the stroll each day.
My "son-in-law" returned on Wednesday. It's hard to be in the room and not feel the tremendous sadness and loss that a person feels at the loss of their mother. I can barely look at him. I didn't know his mother well, but the times I met her I thought she was a pretty neat person and it was very obvious that she loves her children. For him, the only parent he ever had and some of the time the only friend he had. He came home early, he just didn't want to be away from his "family" any longer. I can tell that this has changed him.
New person at work this week. I like her, but I like everybody! I hope it works out!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
What the Heck?
It's Sunday and I have my usual sadness as the weekend turns into the week. I have always struggled on Sunday nights, I get sad for some reason.
The bff and I had a nice evening and sleep over. I feel like a princess when I sleep over at her house, she cooks my favorite foods and mixes my drinks. Who could ask for anything more? We have walked every work day for the past two weeks. I think we are both enjoying the break in the day. I'm pretty proud of us.
I haven't been doing so well with my eating, but tomorrow is another day to start again. I'm going to continue to try.
The big head was gone most of the week, so the stress level was minimal at the office. Now that I have my sights set on something bigger than what I do now, I have a sense of peace to just do my job and move towards a better future for me and the hubby.
My son in law is out of town for the week, sadly his mother is succumbing to the cancer that has been part of her life for the past 10 years. She is a wonderful soul who deserves to go in peace. My own child was struggling with what one does when they know that a loved one is at the end of their time on earth, how do we let go? How would you spend your final 24 hours with your parent, if you knew it was the end? No easy answer, but certainly a thought worth spending some time with.
My mother has always been very important to me. She has a tremendous faith in a higher power and in a better place. I believe I would spend the final 24 hours studying her face and her hands and her scent. Knowing that this memory will have to last the balance of my life. It's hard to think about, but I hope I get that chance rather than have her taken suddenly, without warning.
The sadness just won't go away today, so for now, I will close and hoope for peace and comfort for tomorrow.
The bff and I had a nice evening and sleep over. I feel like a princess when I sleep over at her house, she cooks my favorite foods and mixes my drinks. Who could ask for anything more? We have walked every work day for the past two weeks. I think we are both enjoying the break in the day. I'm pretty proud of us.
I haven't been doing so well with my eating, but tomorrow is another day to start again. I'm going to continue to try.
The big head was gone most of the week, so the stress level was minimal at the office. Now that I have my sights set on something bigger than what I do now, I have a sense of peace to just do my job and move towards a better future for me and the hubby.
My son in law is out of town for the week, sadly his mother is succumbing to the cancer that has been part of her life for the past 10 years. She is a wonderful soul who deserves to go in peace. My own child was struggling with what one does when they know that a loved one is at the end of their time on earth, how do we let go? How would you spend your final 24 hours with your parent, if you knew it was the end? No easy answer, but certainly a thought worth spending some time with.
My mother has always been very important to me. She has a tremendous faith in a higher power and in a better place. I believe I would spend the final 24 hours studying her face and her hands and her scent. Knowing that this memory will have to last the balance of my life. It's hard to think about, but I hope I get that chance rather than have her taken suddenly, without warning.
The sadness just won't go away today, so for now, I will close and hoope for peace and comfort for tomorrow.
Monday, January 11, 2010
The more things change.....
Karma. Karma. Karma. I'm always amazed at the way God shows me who I am and where I belong. The big head couldn't have been any more sympathetic today. She was wrought with personal issues and crisis. I found myself feeling so sorry for her for so many reasons. I am so selfish and self centered that I lose sight of the things that are important to me. Needless to say, I hope to keep my focus on the important things and learn to let go of all the rest.
I had a wonderful evening with friends and an even better evening with my hubby. We really do want the same things in life and we both want to make a difference in the world. We really do have a great life and a great relationship. We are blessed.
We spent the evening talking about the opportunities for couple to do something with our lives that has a deeper meaning. I was thinking about the site http://www.penniesforpeace.org/ that I found while just looking at blogs. I love the whole story and all of the good things that one person can do with so little. I want to be that kind of person, I just don't know where to start. So, together, my Hubby and I are going to explore our options for this type of future. We'll see where it leads us. I don't think to new jobs right now. I think it will lead us to a more simple life and a more satisifying future. I'm really happy and very enthusiastic!
So, thank you Karma! Thank you God, thank you Mom, thank you Dad, Thank you Nana & Pappy and Ange and Bobby and thank you to my most precious gifts, my baby and her babies. I am blessed.
I love this site, please take some time to visit and explore http://zenhabits.net/2007/09/simple-living-manifesto-72-ideas-to-simplify-your-life/ I just love the whole thing! We're trying, will you?
I had a wonderful evening with friends and an even better evening with my hubby. We really do want the same things in life and we both want to make a difference in the world. We really do have a great life and a great relationship. We are blessed.
We spent the evening talking about the opportunities for couple to do something with our lives that has a deeper meaning. I was thinking about the site http://www.penniesforpeace.org/ that I found while just looking at blogs. I love the whole story and all of the good things that one person can do with so little. I want to be that kind of person, I just don't know where to start. So, together, my Hubby and I are going to explore our options for this type of future. We'll see where it leads us. I don't think to new jobs right now. I think it will lead us to a more simple life and a more satisifying future. I'm really happy and very enthusiastic!
So, thank you Karma! Thank you God, thank you Mom, thank you Dad, Thank you Nana & Pappy and Ange and Bobby and thank you to my most precious gifts, my baby and her babies. I am blessed.
I love this site, please take some time to visit and explore http://zenhabits.net/2007/09/simple-living-manifesto-72-ideas-to-simplify-your-life/ I just love the whole thing! We're trying, will you?
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Monday, Monday
I will be seeing the skinny head tomorrow. I'll have an opportunity to get a feeling for the woman and to see if I really could work with her. I will have a talk with the big head as soon as the opportunity presents itself.
I'm feeling better, ran amok with the snacks and think I'll go to bed early and thank God that tomorrow is another day. Nighty, Night.
I'm feeling better, ran amok with the snacks and think I'll go to bed early and thank God that tomorrow is another day. Nighty, Night.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Another Saturday Night
I still have the nasty head cold, so my misery continues. Not sleeping well and getting up several times a night for a variety of medications. I plan to spend Sunday resting and doing laundry. Oh, what fun!
I missed a little time at work this week and when I asked if I could stay a little later today, "No" (the little head). Unfortunately, to keep the big giant head from exploding all over the office on Monday I had to finish her stuff. I stayed an extra 2 hours on my own to save myself the mess on Monday. I'll let you know if it works out or if the big giant head just finds something else to blow up about.
I spent last night at Kamp Kitty with the girls. We learned to play Parcheesi, sort of. After several readings of the directions and a game that lasted over 4 hours Ms. Kitty finally beat us. Well, a rematch is set for the near future. In the mean time I will be looking for strategy and additional tips online. Is that cheating?
The bff spent a lot of time bitching about the skinny head. I applied for a job at the same place and the skinny head sounds a lot like the big giant head. Kind of sad, but the skinny head isn't operating with a full deck. She called my house at 6pm on Friday to set up an interview. I gave her my cell number as my primary contact number and for some reason she called my home. Odd.
the bff read my tarot last night. WOW! It seems I am obsessed with material wealth, self centered and seriously opinionated. Hmmmmmm, it is me. I do bring on my own problems. Even so, the thought of working in a different environment is exciting! I'm moving forward, no matter what! TOWANDA!
When I came home from work today, still struggling with the head cold, I took a little medicine and a nap. I left the TV on and the entire time I slept the background noise was the History Chanel and terrible programs about the end of life on Earth. I had such odd dreams. The little head and the LG were in them. Doing Laundry. My very crazy ex hubby was there, too. I was so glad to wake up and find out that I wasn't spending the end of days with my crazy ex and the Little Head! Thank heaven's for little dogs.
I'm off to bed early tonight. Tomorrow I will be more focused and develop a good plan for the week. Baby, it's cold outside, so I'll be inside and maybe have a friendly visit from the grandsons! Ta ta
I missed a little time at work this week and when I asked if I could stay a little later today, "No" (the little head). Unfortunately, to keep the big giant head from exploding all over the office on Monday I had to finish her stuff. I stayed an extra 2 hours on my own to save myself the mess on Monday. I'll let you know if it works out or if the big giant head just finds something else to blow up about.
I spent last night at Kamp Kitty with the girls. We learned to play Parcheesi, sort of. After several readings of the directions and a game that lasted over 4 hours Ms. Kitty finally beat us. Well, a rematch is set for the near future. In the mean time I will be looking for strategy and additional tips online. Is that cheating?
The bff spent a lot of time bitching about the skinny head. I applied for a job at the same place and the skinny head sounds a lot like the big giant head. Kind of sad, but the skinny head isn't operating with a full deck. She called my house at 6pm on Friday to set up an interview. I gave her my cell number as my primary contact number and for some reason she called my home. Odd.
the bff read my tarot last night. WOW! It seems I am obsessed with material wealth, self centered and seriously opinionated. Hmmmmmm, it is me. I do bring on my own problems. Even so, the thought of working in a different environment is exciting! I'm moving forward, no matter what! TOWANDA!
When I came home from work today, still struggling with the head cold, I took a little medicine and a nap. I left the TV on and the entire time I slept the background noise was the History Chanel and terrible programs about the end of life on Earth. I had such odd dreams. The little head and the LG were in them. Doing Laundry. My very crazy ex hubby was there, too. I was so glad to wake up and find out that I wasn't spending the end of days with my crazy ex and the Little Head! Thank heaven's for little dogs.
I'm off to bed early tonight. Tomorrow I will be more focused and develop a good plan for the week. Baby, it's cold outside, so I'll be inside and maybe have a friendly visit from the grandsons! Ta ta
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Have you lost your mind?
Oh, the way an idea can roll in a mind so desperate for peace. First, the stuffy nose and head cold led to an over sleeping episode. After which I got to work in time to go for my walk and have lunch with the LG. When I listened to my messages the big giant head had left me a scathing message regarding my most recent screw up. The hair stood up on the back of my neck and I couldn't listen to the message. I shivered at the thought of dealing with that kind of feeling at the onset of my day. It occurred to me that this was my punishment for coming in late.
With that I looked down at the daily affirmation I had taped to the top of my computer..."Let Go"....I have been waiting for the past couple years for a sign of what in the world I am supposed to be doing with my life. I may be completely nuts, but today I decided I am not waiting for any more signs. I'm going out there and finding my calling, whatever it may be!
I came right home and applied for 3 jobs through the career link system and created my resume. I have no idea what may happen. I am going to let the big giant head know that I am exploring my options. I hope she doesn't fire me. I really think that she'll be happy for me. Who knows.
So, now I'm really excited. I have a jittery kind of energy that makes me feel happy and enthusiastic. I was imagining working at WalMart. Wouldn't that be fun. When I was in High School and College, I worked at a local retail chain and loved it! I loved the crazy hours, the atmosphere and the fun. I don't know, maybe I am a nut, but I'm looking forward to the challenge.
Maybe my sign came last year and I pushed it to the back of my mind and tried really hard to get my old life back. My old life that I blamed for my issues at the time, the life I vowed to change. I haven't changed it very much. I haven't been the change I want to see in this world. I've been the same person I used to be trying hard to be someone else. Let Go is the best advice anyone could have ever given me.
I'll let you know how it works out!
With that I looked down at the daily affirmation I had taped to the top of my computer..."Let Go"....I have been waiting for the past couple years for a sign of what in the world I am supposed to be doing with my life. I may be completely nuts, but today I decided I am not waiting for any more signs. I'm going out there and finding my calling, whatever it may be!
I came right home and applied for 3 jobs through the career link system and created my resume. I have no idea what may happen. I am going to let the big giant head know that I am exploring my options. I hope she doesn't fire me. I really think that she'll be happy for me. Who knows.
So, now I'm really excited. I have a jittery kind of energy that makes me feel happy and enthusiastic. I was imagining working at WalMart. Wouldn't that be fun. When I was in High School and College, I worked at a local retail chain and loved it! I loved the crazy hours, the atmosphere and the fun. I don't know, maybe I am a nut, but I'm looking forward to the challenge.
Maybe my sign came last year and I pushed it to the back of my mind and tried really hard to get my old life back. My old life that I blamed for my issues at the time, the life I vowed to change. I haven't changed it very much. I haven't been the change I want to see in this world. I've been the same person I used to be trying hard to be someone else. Let Go is the best advice anyone could have ever given me.
I'll let you know how it works out!
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