Monday, Monday

I will be seeing the skinny head tomorrow.  I'll have an opportunity to get a feeling for the woman and to see if I really could work with her.  I will have a talk with the big head as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

I'm feeling better, ran amok with the snacks and think I'll go to bed early and thank God that tomorrow is another day. Nighty, Night.

Another Saturday Night

I still have the nasty head cold, so my misery continues.  Not sleeping well and getting up several times a night for a variety of medications.  I plan to spend Sunday resting and doing laundry.  Oh, what fun!

I missed a little time at work this week and when I asked if I could stay a little later today, "No" (the little head).  Unfortunately, to keep the big giant head from exploding all over the office on Monday I had to finish her stuff.  I stayed an extra 2 hours on my own to save myself the mess on Monday.  I'll let you know if it works out or if the big giant head just finds something else to blow up about.

I spent last night at Kamp Kitty with the girls.  We learned to play Parcheesi, sort of.  After several readings of the directions and a game that lasted over 4 hours Ms. Kitty finally beat us.  Well, a rematch is set for the near future.  In the mean time I will be looking for strategy and additional tips online.  Is that cheating?

The bff spent a lot of time bitching about the skinny head.  I applied for a job at the same place and the skinny head sounds a lot like the big giant head.  Kind of sad, but the skinny head isn't operating with a full deck.  She called my house at 6pm on Friday to set up an interview.  I gave her my cell number as my primary contact number and for some reason she called my home.  Odd. 

the bff read my tarot last night.  WOW!  It seems I am obsessed with material wealth, self centered and seriously opinionated.  Hmmmmmm, it is me.  I do bring on my own problems.  Even so, the thought of working in a different environment is exciting!  I'm moving forward, no matter what!  TOWANDA!

When I came home from work today, still struggling with the head cold, I took a little medicine and a nap.  I left the TV on and the entire time I slept the background noise was the History Chanel and terrible programs about the end of life on Earth.  I had such odd dreams.   The little head and the LG were in them.  Doing Laundry.  My very  crazy ex hubby was there, too.  I was so glad to wake up and find out that I wasn't spending the end of days with my crazy ex and the Little Head!  Thank heaven's for little dogs.

I'm off to bed early tonight.  Tomorrow I will be more focused and develop a good plan for the week.  Baby, it's cold outside, so I'll be inside and maybe have a friendly visit from the grandsons!  Ta ta

Have you lost your mind?

Oh, the way an idea can roll in a mind so desperate for peace.  First, the stuffy nose and head cold led to an over sleeping episode.  After which I got to work in time to go for my walk and have lunch with the LG.  When I listened to my messages the big giant head had left me a scathing message regarding my most recent screw up.  The hair stood up on the back of my neck and I couldn't listen to the message.  I shivered at the thought of dealing with that kind of feeling at the onset of my day.  It occurred to me that this was my punishment for coming in late.

With that I looked down at the daily affirmation I had taped to the top of my computer..."Let Go"....I have been waiting for the past couple years for a sign of what in the world I am supposed to be doing with my life.  I may be completely nuts, but today I decided I am not waiting for any more signs.  I'm going out there and finding my calling, whatever it may be! 

I came right home and applied for 3 jobs through the career link system and created my resume.  I have no idea what may happen.  I am going to let the big giant head know that I am exploring my options.  I hope she doesn't fire me.  I really think that she'll be happy for me.  Who knows.

So, now I'm really excited.  I have a jittery kind of energy that makes me feel happy and enthusiastic.  I was imagining working at WalMart.  Wouldn't that be fun.  When I was in High School and College, I worked at a local retail chain and loved it!  I loved the crazy hours, the atmosphere and the fun.  I don't know, maybe I am a nut, but I'm looking forward to the challenge.

Maybe my sign came last year and I pushed it to the back of my mind and tried really hard to get my old life back.  My old life that I blamed for my issues at the time, the life I vowed to change.  I haven't changed it very much.  I haven't been the change I want to see in this world.  I've been the same person I used to be trying hard to be someone else.  Let Go is the best advice anyone could have ever given me.

I'll let you know how it works out!

Happy New Year!

The new year has come in with a bang!  I am resolved to be happy this year.  No matter what!  It is so difficult to be positive and happy when the environment around me is negative.  Monday, my bff and I went for our first "walk around the block"  it only took us 5 minutes and I was super relaxed after the walk.  Interesting. I have always been so worried about being out of the office during the day and it's nice to see a friendly face at lunch time.  It breaks up the day in a great way.  I still found myself stressed by the end of the day, but I was really happy to come home and cook dinner.  Two nights in a row.

Craft night, so relaxation is a must.  It's always great to get AMJ's input on work related subjects.  She has such great insight into the issues for others. I have always thought she should be a professional speaker.  She doesn't think it's the career for her, but I believe she is missing an opportunity.

I have been opening an inspiration each day and they seem to be so insightful that I am anxious to find out what the future holds!  Fun

I'm feeling good, except for a stuffy nose and sore throat, but otherwise, pretty pleased with myself today.  Change is good!  Even had a lite soy milk, hot chocolate malted drink with a little squirt of lite whipped cream on the top.  Actually, pretty tasty and a great way to try to get more soy protein into my system.  Maybe it will help the hot flashes! 

I haven't spent any money!  I'm pretty pleased about that.  I put the money I wanted to spend on lottery tickets into a cigar box and I have packed my lunch for 2 whole days!  Go Me!!!

I am trying and I'm pretty comfortable.  I'm keeping myself open to whatever comes my way.  I want to find joy, wherever it may be!

Try, try, again...

The day did not go as planned.  First, the electricity was off for a time last night.  My "Sweetie" and I both overslept.  I remembered to take the positive affirmations to work with me, forgot to look at one.

I was running too late to think of anything else to take to work, no breakfast & no lunch.  I had a donut, a handful of almonds, handful of cashews, 3 pieces of chocolate peanut butter candy, more mixed nuts (I believe you get the idea).  There were no good decisions made today (or yesterday for that matter).  Stayed late at work and met "the girls" for dinner.  Thank goodness for the girls.

I finished reading "The No Complaining Rule" yesterday.  I really thought the book was interesting.  There were so many good suggestions for improving the work place.   When I realized that my boss read the book and was trying to put some of the principals into practice that I became concerned.  One of the principals that the author suggests is that all criticism be heard and utilized as a means to improve the "organization".  I think my boss believes that the rule only applies to the subordinates.  She has spent the past two weeks criticizing me and the rest of the staff and then telling us each thing we have done wrong since the beginning of our employment.  I think she suggested I read the book so that I can take her criticism and tell her how I might improve my performance.  I didn't get that from the book, but I think she did and it's a little bit scary!  There should be a Warning Label on some of these self help books!  I may start a hotline!

So, no progress in any areas today, but no worse!  I did have fun at dinner and Craft Night.  Tomorrow is another day and I will try it all over again!  I'll let you know how things go. 

Merry Christmas, Baby!

What a great holiday!  My time was spent with friends and my family.  I spent Christmas day with my grandchildren and then went to the movies with friends.  Just a super holiday, no stress and lots of things to be thankful for.  Funny, I didn't do any baking or a lot of planning for the holiday.  I only did the things that I enjoyed.  I believe that will become my holiday standard.  I will only do those things that I enjoy. 

Back to work today and not finding any joy in the work place.  I am taking some joy to work with me and I will be coming home for lunch.  I have always stayed at the office for the lunch hour, but I think my personal needs would be better served by a break in the middle of the day and the dogs will like it!

Trying one thing at a time, one day at a time :)

So, tomorrow, take along something from home that brings me joy and peace.  Come home for lunch.  Be grateful for my job, co workers and friends. 

Twas the night before, the night before Christmas

and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a Shih Tzu.

I resisted the urge to go out and shop today.  It wasn't easy.  I am determined to stick to my plan.  No credit cards used!  I do want to buy a Keurig Coffee maker, but I don't need one.  Tomorrow I am going to the supermarket and getting only what I need. 

Still struggling with eating all the wrong things and drinking more than I should, but nature fixed me today.  Nasty heartburn that will not go away.  I thought about trying ice cream, but have decided on the smoothie.  I need to read some of the 72 Zen Habits, so I'm off, making the smothie and reading. 

I proud of myself today.  I maintained my determination and I feel good!  Merry Christmas to me!